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so sleep alone tonight
Shu Ern.
16 earthling years. Gutsy and sarcastic. Mushroom on head. Hide sweets at unreachable places just so that she doesn't eat too many of them. Breed dinosaurs. |
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about this blog
This blog was opened by Shu Ern, the mushroom dinosaur to accomodate her mindless musings and daily rantings.Do enjoy your stay here, and don't take what's not yours! tagboard
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Day-TWO
Day two of you know what I'm not doing anymore. Can't even think of that word cause it makes all the emotion comes back. Feeling absolutely horrible today. Can't stop thinking and talking about the thing I miss most. When we saw Yee Seen during recess, we're madly happy and hug each other which makes me want to cry. But Yee Seen said cannot cry so I didn't cause I know when I go home and feel the emptiness, that's when I'll unleash it all out.When I thought my tears have dried up, Yee Seen's post make me cry yet again. I miss everything too!!! I miss us being us!!! I miss formation with lots of holes because people did not come. Then cannot tahan anymore, I go and feed on my mental food which is the video of our school competition. I miss all those semangat slogans and things that I regretted not doing during zon competition when compared those two videos. I regretted not being make it to wilayah competition. I regretted that we did not take our squad and mostly Yee Seen [Cause she wants this the most] to the next level. I dislike my mum. 2 careless words from her mouth and I broke down. She doesn't seem to know what I am talking about everytime I tell her I'm devastated. She thought that I was frustrated because we lost. Things she would never know is that I have a great, big, beautiful family of 31 at school whom I miss so much it hurts. She would never know that how semangat we are when we have the same goal. She would have no idea how we cry in pain and broken heartedly when we lose. She would never know how much this squad means to us. Not just something to brag about or to gain certificate for scholarships, it's something way deeper than that. Something inside out heart. Yee Seen and Su Ann put their leaves near mine and said so that we'll always be together. Damn la, Yee Seen. With your poker face sometimes you say the most heart warming words. Life is still terrifying empty and saddening. All we ever talk about now is how we miss the thing that we will never do together and how empty our lives are. Jing Yee said that she wanted to be happy back and I said to her that it's going to be a long way. I would be hard to forget all those happy moments we shared together. All the sweat and tears we shed. [Happy or not] Most of all, the bond we built among ourselves. Maybe not all of us in the squad agree with me but I think most of us form 4s are truly missing this and we teared up whenever we talk about it. People said that As time goes by, the sadness will be wash away too. But I believe that, Time never does anything to sadness like this. It never will. She said:" It's over." To me, it never will end. I will never let it end. . . . . . . - I will keep holding to it until it hurts me.
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