Don't Close Your Eyes

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This blog was opened by Shu Ern, the mushroom dinosaur to accomodate her mindless musings and daily rantings.
Do enjoy your stay here, and don't take what's not yours!

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A ghost who lives

Today is the 31st of December. It is 9:48 pm now. It's the year of 2008. I'm fifteen.

A lot of things happen this year. Although I can't recall all of them due to my bad memory, but all and all I think I have a good year. I have my ups and downs like normal people. But I think I dealt with it well.

I just got my PMR result yesterday, even tho I did not get a straight, perfect A for it, I'm still not gonna let anything get me down. I am the one that never give up. I'm the one with all the energy and spunk. If I get sad, who won't? Yesterday is in the past and the year 2008 will be in the past too within hours.

In the year 2009, I'm gonna discover more of myself. Since, I have been a trophy kid for my mum for years that I don't even count anymore; I have been lost for the past 2 and a half year; lately I found myself, a great me that not only me but also my friend likes. I'm always described as ' doesn't give a damn'. But seriously, I do. I just never show it. Now that, I'm not trying too hard, things became easier.

I figured that I don't have to be the same to be liked. I don't always have to smile and tell jokes to be liked. I don't have to look good all the time to be liked. I don't have to be smart to be liked. The only thing I have to do is be myself. Sometimes, when you care so much, you go berserk. And when you cool down, you noticed that others are the ones who don't give a damn. Life is only decades long which is not so long at all. So if I don't live my moment now as myself, when will I?

I'm still lost sometimes and trying to find a way that everyone will be happy. But eventually I found out that there's no way I could please everyone so with no guide in life at all, I just have to do what I think is right. I might bump and fall but I just have to pick myself up if that happens. Cause if I do things that way, there is noone to blame but myself. And there's more space for me to learn. So that people won't feel guilty for pushing me off a cliff.

I hope my mum now knows that my life is my own and noone's else. Even tho I have been in her cage for so long but I still manage to have a glimpse of the real and somewhat colourful world outside of it. I have been a ghost of the world for so long. The world has been unaware of me for so long and if I don't do something soon, I will be forget by even God himself. So I have to be brave and take my first step, when I do, the world became clearer and closer to me.

For all that I have learn in 2008, I bet that 2009 will be a better year as I'm always growing, always learning, always undiscovering new things, always fighting for what I think is right, always having fun and always will be me.

Thank you, people. You're there for me and that's the reason why little-old-cowardly-me never feel lonely throughout all these.

-I love the sentimental me.

Someone just gave me a gunshot on my head

Well, if there is really a bullet in my head, I'd be dead which is better than having to live for 3 more days. The end of the world is better than the 24th of december. No, it's not Christmas Eve. Nothing is as simple as it seems.

And I knew the crappy government is out to destroy everyone's Christmas Eve. I mean if they really want to destroy Christmas, why not invite some aliens and destroy this world or release the devils from hell. I know they can't do that cause they're too dumb. I wonder can they even spell hell?

I think I might just jump off KLCC right now. People said that jumping from a place that high, before you reach the ground, you're already dead. This is like nightmare before Christmas without Jack Skeleton, the boogeychild and Santa. Instead we have, our horrible SMK Aminuddin Baki principle Pn. Latifah (She's uncultured, believe me. I did that on purpose.), a few train wreck faces teachers and an exam slip (that's really just a piece of printed paper).

It's not like I care much about these things but still they could have told us earlier. In such short notice, it's not even enough for me to write a letter to my parents, my friends, my dog, my neighbours and the ant I talk to when I'm crazy and alone.

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock... Time is running, said the time fairy. (WTF?!) I wish that a car would crash into my house and hit me. Or some handsome, hot kidnapper (who isn't a vampire) would kidnap this blabbermouth (me) away. Even if he doesn't want me, at least sneak into the ministry of education and steal the exam slip and destroy their data. Not too shabby for a kidnapper, huh?

I never mentioned the name of this goddamn exam cause it's not necessary. Its existence has already been a pain in the ass for us and now this? Well, great job, oh-great-government for making us into machinery, good for nothing student. In another word, bookworms. I mean most Malaysian student really is good for nothing lor. Not only that they can't excel in anything, they did not discover anything either. When we go up to college, we will be lost and is just another face in the crowd. If that is their intention, well keep going on and this country will be doomed.

-the end-

-Now will you excuse me cause I'm going to die.

one in the morning, and my head's still clear like an after-washed window =)

Christmas is coming!!!!! I know I'm not a Christian but Christmas is for everyone right?

I usually don't get the Christmas hype but this year I'm in the hype of all hype.

You know how everyone has wishlist for their Christmas present?

And you know how we gave our old, goddamn it-cannot-fight-anymore-clothes to charity?

See how the two links? No?

Well, my Christmas wish is that you people, my friend give me your unwanted clothes. T-shirts I don't want la. Like jackets, cardigans, skirts, dresses that are waaaaaaaaayyyy too small for you. Ok la, maybe T-shirts also can. But please la, no pasar malam cheap cheap la-la thingy la. LOL.

What I want them for?

Since I think thrifting is oh-so-awesome, and thrifting without having to pay is more awesome.

Any old clothes... Your mum's, your sister's, your aunties', your's, your friend's.... Anything!!!!

But don't give me cacated one la...

But if you have a hunger/ festive for money. I can pay also. A small amount of money. But paying need to choose la... If it's pretty, why not? So what do you poor students/teenagers out there think?

But still remember I'm also a poor teenager/student so don't go around and kill you own species.

I even accept your 6 years old sister dress! Or your 50 years old auntie blouse. LOL.

It's new year and wardrobe should be cleaned and why not give it to me? You have to get rid of it anyways.

So what do you think? Good deal? Come on, you have to clear some space for your new year clothes!!!

If anyone (I doubt there's any since people are so mean these days) is interested leave me a comment la.

I will collect it when school reopens. =D

I love soft fabrics and pretty printings. I stay away from denims and hard based fabrics.

I'M GODDAMN SERIOUS!!!!!

- Giving is greater than receiving. *wink* ;)

- I have got 1 vintage blouse and 1 vintage dress coming my way. Yipee!!!