Don't Close Your Eyes

about this blog

This blog was opened by Shu Ern, the mushroom dinosaur to accomodate her mindless musings and daily rantings.
Do enjoy your stay here, and don't take what's not yours!

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The deep, unknown secrets of me

People say this to me all the time. But it's not MySpace la.

They say they can't recognize me.

All I did was a little angling, it's that a crime?!!!

Now I would teach you how to tell it's me.

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Oh, the infamous Mulan Eyes and big, flat nose. It's MY combination of look.

My nose attracts all the attention. It's like how Britney Spears attracts the paparazzi.

The fact that I can't smile without looking like a retard in front of the camera helps.

Sometimes my short stubby legs attract the camera's attention.

Warning: This is just a picture spam. You have wasted twenty minutes of your life reading this.

-Vanity is something I'm born with.

I'm shallow, and that's why I live in the present.

We must always be positive, ain't we? Not because life is supposedly short but also unpredictable and sometimes can be a PMS bitch. My mum keep nagging me to study and I did study just not all day long. My life still goes on even after PMR and even IF I failed to get straight A's. It's not the end of the world. What's really going to end is when we die and have nothing left. Isn't that so pathetic? Maybe its because I'm not in my right mind, or maybe it's because I'm a furking loser that doesn't has plans for tomorrow.

So tell me, Miss and Mister I'm-aiming-for-straight-A's, what's your plan for tomorrow? Can you tell me precisely what is your plan? And can I copy yours? Can you guarantee that I won't get bang by a car when I'm crossing the road tomorrow and have to leave this stupid world? Well, can you? Even if you lock me up all life long, you still can't guarantee anything, can't you? Maybe for you crazy, smart people who's studying hard rather than blogging now, I'm just finding a lame excuse to not give my best and keep being lazy. But think about it.

If you have a merely one hour to live, will you still study? What will you do then? Will you cry yourself to death? Will you do something good for the world for once in your life? I have noticed that putting my goals on A's are too shallow. What about the people in Africa who are so darn hungry that they can't even move? What about them, you said. Do they deserve that? What about the people who are in war and what about their loved ones? If you think it's the end of the world for you and you get so devastated if you failed t0 get just a mere A, think about them. They're going through hell, then.

I'm not stating that I'm different. The fact that I'm no different makes me weep at night and makes me glad. I wept because I don't know what I can do. Changing the world can't be achieve by just one tiny person. I noticed that long ago and that makes me cry. I'm glad because I can relate to people around me. Being an outcast ain't all fun and party. There is more to life than this, at least that's what I religiously believe. I feel alive because I believe.

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PMR is 19 days away.

-And I had be lying if I said my heart doesn't skips a beat when I see the figure.

-I'm a first class liar.

UNTITLED

YOU'RE FEATURED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to ( Insert name here),

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Happy birthday to you!!!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BAOYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Humongous cake for you!!! [ Although it's a blow up cake.]

If a quarter of the cake is already this big, imagine the whole.

Not only one but two gigantic cakes for you. You're one lucky girl.

- Shopping buddy, find a date and I will mark my calender.

Old is the new new

Vintage!!! Vintage dresses, shirt [Oh, the peter pan collar.], raybans and basically just imagine what your mum wears when she was in her 20s. Yes, they're back to haunt us. No, not big afros, awful pattern and sore-to-the-ears disco music. They 're haunting us with its gorgeous floral print and pinstripe pattern. They're so pretty it hurts.

Some pictures for those who doesn't know the vintage concept...

[Photos credit to http://campurjunk.blogspot.com/ , the.junksters]

Go check them out. They're amazing.

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Audrey Hepburn...

is my hero!!!!

Hate it? In time, you will learn to love it. For now, just get your ass off.
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-Care to go on a vintage shopping with me?

Shit!! I'm in big trouble!!

BAOYU, I'M TYPING THIS IN ALPHABET SO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS. LET'S GO ON THE TOPSHOP STUDENT SALES THINGY TOGETHER. AS YOUR BIRTHDAY IS COMING, I FELT THIS DESPERATE NEED TO CELEBRATE WITH YOU. OK, I'M LYING. BUT THE STUFF THERE ARE JUST SO DARN CUTE!!! IT MAKES THE BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH GO CRAZY, THE HAIR ON MY BACK STANDS AND THE ROSES IN MY HEART BLOSSOM!!!!!

BEANIE~~ IS KILLING ME. CAN'T SPEAK RIGHT. DAMN.

THE POCKETS. I'M DIEING FOR THE 9203710271037 TIMES FOR THIS TODAY ALONE.

THIS IS LIKE THE BESTEST OF ALL BEST!!! IRRESISTIBLE LIKE MY HUSBAND.

BATMAN NEVER LOOK THIS GOOD. NA NA NA ~~

IMA SUCKER FOR HATS...

AND

http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?catalogId=19551&storeId=12556&categoryId=74435&parent_category_rn=74433&langId=-1&top=Y

ALL OF THE SHORTS ARE SO CUTE. I CAN'T POST ALL OF THEM CAUSE THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH.

I'M DIEING. THIS IS BAD. VERY BAD.

GIRLS HAVE TO LOOK GOOD ALL THE TIME. EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE STUDYING THEIR ASS OFF AND HAVING EXAMS.

Credits to topshop.com. [In case they sue me or anything.]

-Vanity is no sin.

I am a lucky girl!!!!

You know how girls want to marry angmos. They're hot, tall and have genes so good, you wish you were their babies' mother. Like how Lai Chin wants to marry with an Italian, Michelle would love to marry an Australian and as for Sook Shian and Sabrina, any angmos will do. I know I'm married and stuff but you know marriage is unpredictable. I could be married this moment and be single the next.

Angmos like the Asian girls mysterious (Or so they like to imagine) aura and the face like Mulan. [The girl that replace his father, went to war with the intention to hook up with a hot guy.] Let's see what does Mulan has, I mean her face characteristics. She has pretty single eye lidded eyes, the end of her eyes curved upwards, the gap between her eyes are like so darn big, her flat nose and pretty pouty lips.

I was watching this show and they were talking about marriage with a different ethnicity. They said that angmos have a different sense of what beautiful look like. They don't think big eyes, tall nose and sexy lips are beautiful on an asian girl. So that means a not-so-pretty girl in Asia would be drop dead gorgeous in the eyes of angmos.

There's a guy who work as those guy who tells you your fate by looking at your face or hand. [I don't know what he is call.] And he said the girls' face that will most likely marry with an angmos is girls with faces like Mulan. And I was like, that's me. Although my single eyelid are gone [I USED to have them] but my eyes still curved upwards, the gap between my eyes are like so far, it fits two trucks and I have big, flat nose [It has a goddamn life on its own on my bloody face] and pouty lips that are so irresistible.

If my marriage with Michael Phelps couldn't end in happiness. I would still marry another hot angmos. Thank you, mommy dearest for borning me as a not-so-pretty girl that will probably marry a superstar looking guy!!! Sorry Lai Chin, Michelle, Sabrina and Sook Shian and all the other aspiring-to-marry-an-angmo-pretty girl, I'm the only one that fits the bill. My mom has this big, flat nose gene. It runs in the family.

-Girls will eye me in envy and I will paste this victory smile on my face.

Oh, Jesus. Plaese do forgive.

Calling people bitch and a prostitute is the most mature thing to do nowadays. Copying answers is the smartest move to do nowadays. Calling people a bitch and prostitute after copying the answer, ain't so classy are we brother? Can't our Mr. Smartie Pants handle some backstabbing and pressure? Afterall we only did that because you did what-you-did-and-you-furking-know-it. Girls are backstabbing bitch, remember that. Do not tell them the truth even if you're naked on the bed together.

I as the bitch best friend know that she wouldn't be upset if a man whore of unworthy beat her at the first trial. Like puh-lease, the bitch (my bitch) doesn't study and couldn't give a damn. Come on, that girl is born smart. She writes smart and at LEAST she has class. She can't beat a semi-charged man whore because she's not even charge. I mean, prostitute gives men pleasure. And the blog is sure as hell, he's guilty pleasure. We don't care even if you copied the answer but please starting a blog online and call it vengeance make you look worse than you already are.

She's a great friend. I give her a 101% in marking. And yes, her acting is superb. But only with her friend. Sorry to break the fun man but she is never even your friend. If you view her as a rival, she is your rival and never your friend. If she is a prostitute who is so bitchy you have to blog your ass off to write about her, then what does that makes you? Or do you actually work in the same place as a drag queen? Morality is to be judge by the majority and not one. If one could and should judge, then you rule the world.

No matter, how many post you write about her. I'm only gonna write mine once. I have class and won't waste my time blogging on you. I have the whole world waiting for me and happy things to post about. I think you have better things to do, studying for example cause then next time you don't have to go around searching for papers and answers online when you're so goddamn poor. I pity you, seriously.

At last I want to tell you that, you may be smart, you can put the name of crime on top of people's name, you can call people names that are not-so-nice to the ears but you're just a lowly worm who is too darn concerned about your results. And now, here on my pretty blog I will call you a man whore who is a smartie pants who may not own a dick behind those pants. If you want to call her a bitch and prostitute, confront her. I will gladly listen to you. Thank you.

I will not let myself go to your level. I have class and I would like to keep them.

-I like my witty self.

Another one of this and I'm going high, Driving everyone nuts

I freaking love survey!!!! Since Sook said she tagged all the hotties and well, I'm kinda-almost *ahem* one, I guess. So I tagged myself. Yes, I'm pretty darn cool. You don't have to push me to roll, I roll on myself and that's how I roll. LOL. Me and my shitty jokes nowadays.

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Here comes the real deal. *drum rolls*

♥Remove one question from below and add in your own question, make it a total 20 questions.
♥Then tag 8 people from your list.
♥List them out at the end of the post.
♥Notify them that they have been tagged.

1) At what age you wish to get married?

-What are you talking about? I AM married!!!!
-You have been living under a humongous rock if you don't know what I'm talking about.

2) What are you listening to now? <--- [Lame question, I know. But better than Sook's. Anything is better than her question.]

- I can wait forever, Simple Plan playing over and over again in my head.

3) Do you smoke?

-I have black clothes, black hair, black eyes, black nails, black shoes, black pen, black notebook, black plastic bags, black brain, black blood, black hearted and black everything-you-can-think-of but I don't have black lungs. Last time I checked. Unless my lungs turn emo. =D

4) List out 2 gifts you like to received now.

- A magic lamp. FREE genie who will grant you all the wishes you can think of.
-I'm not greedy. I only need a gift.

5) Who did you text most?

-Text?! Yeah. My dove do all the sending work. So we will see who replies back.

6) How old are you?

-91038103810381032819382010102940119301820181018301812838 years and counting.

7) What is the latest thing you bought with your own money?

-I have bad memories.

8) State 3 people of the opposite sex that first comes to your mind. Who will you most likely date?

-Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. So yeah, I'm gonna date him.
-We will be underwater all day long.

9) What is your hope now?

- Magic lamp with FREE genie!!! Remember?
- Who needs hope when you have a genie who will grant all your wish?!

10) Friends or family?

- Michael Phelps. =D

11) How many kids do you want?

- Urm........... [Sorry, the line of dot has gone outer space. They have spread in outer space so we cannot track any of them.]

12) Are you in love?

-I'm married!!! What do you think, Einstein?

13) Where is the latest restaurant you have dinner?

- Amnesia hitting.
-^ And no, that's not a restaurant name just in case there's some stupid people out there.

14) Name the latest book you bought?

- I think this survey is trying to make fun of the amnesia people. Good try, buddy.
- Ima strangle this survey if it has a neck.
- I protest against violence.

15) Do you believe in open book test?

- This survey is making fun of the dumb too!!!!
- ^ I like stupid people.

16) Cars or bikes?

-Prada or Brada?

17) Name the first person that comes into your mind now.

- Michael Phelps.
- I have an obsession with him and his hot body.
- ^ Gosh yes, Ima pervert.
- I love angmos!!!

18) The most exciting place you want to go?

- Urm.............. [My dots are travelling in outer space. That's pretty darn interesting.]

19) Which is the more important in a lover. Looks or personality?

- Both + body+ $$ = This is reality babeh!!
- Ain't no fairytale happening here.

20) What are you going to do later?

-I'm going to post this post.

Tag: [Dots travelling in outer space. They send postcards, you know.]

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa